Awakenings

by Father Thomas Keating

Events in Jesus' Ministry

Chapter 6

The Questioning of Peter

When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you. " He said to him, "Feed my lambs." He then said to him a second time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you. " He said to him, "Tend my sheep. " He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?" Peter was distressed that he had said to him a third time, "Do you love me?" and he said to him, "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you. " [Jesus] said to him, "Feed my sheep. Amen, amen, I say to you, when you were younger, you used to dress yourself and go where you wanted; but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go. " He said this signifying by what kind of death he would glorify God And when he had said this, he said to him, "Follow me. "
(John 21:15-19)

    This dialogue between Peter and Jesus took place on the shore of the Lake of Tiberias after a long night of fruitless fishing. John the Evangelist calls it the third appearance of Jesus.

    It was on this occasion that the disciples, at the suggestion of the stranger on the beach, cast their nets to the other side of their boats and obtained a remarkable catch of 153 fish. When they arrived on the shore pulling their nets, they found that the stranger had provided them with breakfast. He called for some of the fish that they had caught and then invited them to eat.

    This nostalgic scene tends to go on and on. After breakfast a dialogue takes place when Jesus invites Peter to walk with him along the beach. Peter had denied the Lord three times. His triple denial was lying heavily on his mind, the way our own failures lie heavily on our consciences. Having done something we wish we had not or not done something we wish we had, we have to live with the consequences. Every now and then we are confronted by some incident from our past life during prayer, and we have the sense that the Lord is taking us by the hand or putting his arm around us. Guilt feelings tend to make us think that he is staring at us with a severe glance as if to say, "You wretched so-and-so." But this is a projection of how we feel, not how God feels. In any case, Peter was feeling as if the finger were pointing at him as Jesus invited him for this heart-to-heart talk after breakfast. Notice the timing. It was not on an empty stomach. God picks the right moment for these searching confrontations.

    Here then is the first question, "Simon, Son of John, do you love me?" Peter's internal "commentator"--the emotional judgment that assesses everything that happens--goes off. The "commentator" says, "Look, he's giving you the formal treatment." Simon, son of John, was a formal address suitable for a law court. Instead of calling him Peter, the name given him at their first meeting, Jesus substitutes the formal address that goes with heavy occasions, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?" Each one of these words is delicately nuanced, and unless we grasp these nuances, we will not perceive the extraordinary depth of this exchange and the excruciating nature of the interrogation. "Do you love me?" The word "love" in Greek is not translatable. It means "do you love me with the disinterested love that I have shown you?" or "do you love me with the self giving love that seeks no reward?"

    Peter's answer is, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." But Peter does not use the same word for "love" that Jesus did. Thus he does not lay claim to the kind of love that he has received. He simply says, "You know that I love you." Peter's word for "love" refers to brotherly love or the love of friendship. In other words, "You know I love you with my human affection (the way people normally love each other)."

    Jesus says, "Feed my lambs."

    They walk on a little farther while the implications of the first question percolate in Peter's conscience. Then comes a second question, "Simon, son of John, do you really love me?" Again Jesus uses the term for divine love or self-giving love.

    Peter is aware of where these questions are going. All his pretensions that were prominent in his early discipleship, his desire to be the right-hand man of the Messiah, have crumbled. His three denials have laid bare who he really is. When the chips were down, so was he. There is no chance that Peter now lays claim to selfless love or to any depth of dedication. He is naked in front of the truth to which Jesus has lovingly brought him. So once again Peter says, "You know that I love you with my poor human affection." That is all he can lay claim to.

    As they walk on, the questions are bringing Peter to a new depth of understanding. With the words, "Feed my sheep," Peter must be aware that Jesus is reinstating him as the chief of the apostles. He is also aware of the condition, which is his acknowledgment of his total dependence on Christ. 

    Now comes a third and final question. The other two had prepared Peter for this one. I doubt that he could have endured it without the other two going first. God does not ask us to face the full truth of our capacity for all evil right away Here is the question, "Simon, son of John, do you really love me?" Jesus' word of "love" is not divine love (agape), the term he has been using, but the word that Peter has been using. The implication is, "Do you really love me as a brother or friend? Do you even love me with your human affection?" In other words, "Do you have any love for me at all?"

    This question brings Peter's human love and affection for Jesus into doubt, and the doubt is being raised by the person who means everything to him. To put the question another way, "In the light of your behavior, Simon, son of John, I ask one final question, Do you love me at all?"

    Here is Peter pleading with Jesus to believe in his human affection and Jesus asks, "Are you sure?"

    Peter's answer is, "Lord, you know everything." The Greek word for "know" refers to divine knowledge. It is to Jesus as God that Peter appeals when he says, "You know everything." But in the next sentence the word for "know" changes. Peter appeals only to Jesus' human knowledge as he continues, "You know that I love you." To paraphrase Peter's words: "Can't you see, just by human observation, that I really love you?" Thus Peter lays no claim to the love that is the primary qualification for apostleship.

    Jesus replies, "Feed my sheep." Jesus seems to say, "I accept your human affection, but I am calling you to perfect love which is to love as I have loved you." Thus Peter will receive the love which is agape now that he has acknowledged that it is sheer gift, and one day he will lay down his life for him.

    Finally Jesus says to him, "Follow me." These are the same words that Jesus said to him when he first called him to be a disciple--the same words, and yet an infinite distance has been traversed in those few years, the distance between the presumption of Peter's false self and the humility of enlightened self-knowledge.

    The love of Christ holds nothing against anybody, but it cannot penetrate the presumption of pride. The false self does not want to be transformed. It wants to hide everything negative about itself and pretend that it can run our lives and perhaps everybody else's.

    Humility is the necessary condition for the proper exercise of authority in the church. When it is not present, nothing works. Since Peter was to be the chief shepherd, he had to be brought to the realization that everything was the sheer gift of the Lord. Only then was he ready to receive the Spirit and to be the head of the church. In those questions, Jesus lovingly hurls him from one abyss of humiliation to another while at the same time reaffirming him in his vocation.

    These are the same questions we hear in the night of sense and still more in the night of spirit.

This chapter is taken from the book Awakenings by Fr. Thomas Keating. You can obtain a copy from the Bookstore.  See Awakenings