Awakenings

by Father Thomas Keating

From the Teachings of Jesus

Chapter 20

Freedom From Cultural Conditioning

Great crowds were traveling with him, and he turned and addressed them, "If anyone comes to me without hating his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whosoever does not carry his own cross and come after me, cannot be my disciple. Which of you wishing to construct a tower does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if there is enough for its completion? Otherwise, after laying the foundation and finding himself unable to finish the work the onlookers should laugh at him and say, 'This one began to build but did not have the resources to finish.' Or what king marching into battle would not first sit down and decide whether with ten thousand troops he can successfully oppose another king advancing upon him with twenty thousand troops? But if not, while he is still far away, he will send a delegation to ask for peace terms. In the same way, everyone of you who does not renounce all his possessions cannot be my disciple."
(Luke 14:25-33)

    The text presents Jesus on his way along a road accompanied by a huge crowd. I suppose it occurred to him to ask, who are these people who are following me and what is their motivation? In any case, he turned around and presented them with the wisdom saying recorded in this text, which I paraphrase: "Unless you who are following me are prepared to hate your mother, father, wife, children, brothers and sisters, you might as well go home. Unless you are ready to turn your backs on the people who are closest to you, you cannot be my follower." Then he added, "You also have to hate your own life, your very self, your own thoughts, judgments, hang-ups." This is a big order. Since quite a few continued to follow him, he proceeded to add two parables by way of clarification.

    Before building a house, a prudent person draws up a blueprint and, depending on the height of the building, plans the foundation accordingly Jesus commented: "Reflect on what being a follower of mine is. Don't just follow me blindly What is it going to cost you? Think of the foundation required for this building and to what you are committing yourself."

    The sayings of Jesus are designed to move people to question their unquestioned values so that they can be open to the radical program for change that he offers. We do not normally enjoy change; even a change for the better is threatening. It is easier to stick with the value system that we have absorbed from our parents, education, ethnic group, nation and religious education. Jesus regularly invited his hearers to question their value system. In the culture of his time, family was the supreme value. Today when the family is breaking up in the Western world, Jesus might have said the reverse. Again, the tendency nowadays is not to take proper care of the old folks; they are an embarrassment and a burden. So in our time we need to hear just the opposite of this saying. The point is that Jesus' wisdom sayings challenge our unquestioned values in whatever age we live.

    One well-known person who carried out this wisdom saying was Francis of Assisi. He came from a fine home; his father was a successful businessman and highly respected in the community. Like most parents, he thought it would be nice if his children would marry someone chosen by their parents, have a good income, home, children, take care of them in their old age, bury them, and lovingly remember them. These were normal human expectations of the time. Unfortunately, they become institutionalized over a long period of time, and come to be considered as the supreme values. Then when anyone hesitated about any part of the expected scenario, the resistance of relatives and friends was enormous.

    When we are called, as Jesus is implying, to a higher set of values that involves the service not just of our immediate family, but of a broader scope, as in the case of the apostles, then these unquestioned values stand in the way. Hence, Jesus warns, if the accepted values oppose or prevent us from growing beyond them, we must "hate" our cultural attachments and launch out into the unknown. We must be ready to renounce the values we have interiorized when these oppose the values of the Gospel.

    When Francis left home and possessions, his father felt insulted, hurt and rejected. His plans for Francis were turned upside down. This seems to be a normal parental experience. Because it is so difficult to distinguish human loyalty from the higher loyalty of God's call, the agonizing moments of this period of our conversion requires us to sit down and figure out what this choice is going to cost. Then we will not be surprised when those we love accuse us of disregarding their love for us.

    Francis succeeded in disidentifying himself from the limited values of his family and culture. He was like the past generation of hippies who rejected the material values of their parents. Unfortunately that generation transferred their dependency structures from the home to the commune or peer group and continued the same cycle of dependency An institution can be helpful in gathering up this generosity and channeling it to good purposes. The struggle to let go of over-identification needs to be guided; there is a thin line between a true vocation and fanaticism in hanging on to a vision that is not sufficiently nuanced or in dialogue with other human values. The harsh sayings of Jesus are balanced by instructions that seem to contradict them. For example, Jesus accused the Pharisees of avoiding the duty of the financial support of parents by promising their inheritance to the Temple, which was an evasion of the practical love owed to parents. These balancing statements warn us that what Jesus is teaching is the inward freedom from over-identification that prevents human growth. It is not a denial of what we owe in gratitude to our parents, but the freedom to go beyond their particular world-view.

This chapter is taken from the book Awakenings by Fr. Thomas Keating. You can obtain a copy from the Bookstore.  See Awakenings