Among the four active Gifts of the Spirit, let us look first at the Gift of Reverence. A primary inspiration of this Gift is the realization that our lives are unmanageable and that we will never make headway on the spiritual journey without the grace of God. We are fully aware of our weakness, but also of the unconditional love of God for us, just as we are. God is not judgmental. We are the ones who judge ourselves as we advance in the spiritual journey The work of contemplative prayer convinces us that we are who we are, and that we are not some idealized image of ourselves that is the result of the emotional programs for happiness or various biases from the culture we happen to belong to.

The Gift of Reverence is also called the Fear of the Lord. The term "fear" does not mean the emotion of fear, but rather fear in the sense of wonder, awe, and reverence. This is the fear of offending God; it is prompted by love and not fear of punishment.

For contemporary Western society, a good description of this gift might be the fear of going against one's own conscience and a genuine respect for ourselves and for our own integrity. This attitude is exemplified in the descriptions of the temptations of Jesus in the desert, where he was confronted with three serious temptations. Jesus responded without fear or panic, stating exactly where he stood. Each time his response put the demon to flight. To be faithful to one's own conscience is characteristic of the Gift of Reverence or Fear of the Lord.

When we follow our own conscience, we manifest our integrity Whenever we meet an example of integrity in others, we are usually deeply impressed. It is always beautiful, awesome, and inspiring. Jesus manifested this singular integrity in his responses to the temptations of the demon in the desert.

It might be helpful to draw on a contemporary example, even though it is not from real life. The movie Scent of a Woman, directed by Martin Brest and starring Al Pacino and Chris O'Donnell, is about an old soldier blinded by an accident. He is obviously very angry and close to despair. He decides to have one last fling and then do away with himself. His sister and her husband, with whom he is living, want to take a vacation and they hire a young high school senior in a private boarding school to take care of their brother. The young man sees the three hundred dollars that is offered to take care of the old warrior as a chance to earn the money he needs to go home for Christmas. As soon as the family departs, the old soldier turns up with an elaborate plan to travel to New York. We find out later that he has bought a one-way ticket. Since he is blind, the soldier needs this young man to guide him on the various adventures he has planned before shooting himself. The young man, meanwhile, is in serious trouble because of his refusal to identify one of the other students who did a prank that deeply embarrassed the president of the elite boarding school. The latter tells the young man that, if he doesn't tell who is responsible, he will not be recommended for a prestigious university thus sabotaging the young man's hopes for the future.

When the grouchy old soldier and the young man arrive in New York, it is obvious that the older man doesn't give a damn about anybody. In their hotel room, the soldier produces a gun and announces that he is going to shoot himself. The young man feels an obligation to do what he said he would do; that is, take care of the blind soldier for the weekend. He demands the gun, but the old man will not give it to him. The old soldier sends him out to buy him a cigar, planning to shoot himself in the boy's absence; but the young man suspects something is fishy and comes back unexpectedly--to the great indignation of the old rascal. The soldier storms that he has no reason to live, and since the student has compromised his own future at the school, they might as well die together. He makes one last offer: "Just leave and I will shoot myself!"

But the young man won't leave. He will not abandon his charge. The old soldier is prepared to push the young man to the very limits of terror. Because he hates himself so much, he does not believe anybody could love him. He challenges the young man to suggest some reason for him to go on living, saying: "I am rotten through and through. I lied to you about not having any bullets left and, if you don't leave, I will shoot you too."

Because the young man refuses to give up on him, the old man is backed into a double bind. He begins to perceive that there may be a reason to live. This makes him so angry that he decides to shoot them both. He grabs the young man by the throat and puts the gun to his head. "Either leave now or I am going to shoot you!" he shouts. We are focused on the young man's face as he cries out, "Give me the gun! Give me the gun!" He is ready to lay down his life for the old guy, who now backs down. They finally drive home. The young man is still in trouble with the president of the boarding school. Since he has given the old soldier his first experience of real love, the man begins to change. First, we see him defend the young man at the school. Then the children of the family, who have always disliked him, gather around him when he comes home and welcome him instead of running away.

In this story integrity required firmness. The young man did not ask for any reward or thanks. Once the old soldier's basic goodness had been reawakened by the integrity of his young companion in his misadventures, he successfully defended his newfound young friend from the charges that would have ruined his career.

The Gift of Reverence keeps us true to ourselves and to God. It tells the truth in love and will not back down for motives of self-defense or security. Reverence is not only the fear of offending God prompted by love, but it is loyalty to one's own personal integrity: to do what one believes is right no matter what the stakes are. This is the fidelity to conscience that led St. Joan of Arc, at the risk of her life, to stand up to her unjust judges during her ecclesiastical trial. She was burned at the stake as a heretic. Twenty years after her death she was exonerated.

As the Gift of Reverence grows stronger, our trust in God expands. Humility is a profound sense of our weakness and nothingness, but at the same time an even greater trust in God's infinite mercy and compassion. The Gift of Reverence puts together these apparent opposites.

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Excerpted from Fruits and Gift of the Spirit by Fr. Thomas Keating

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