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To discern rightly, for me, in this moment, I need to be focused on the one thing necessary. During my centering prayer this morning, concerns and analyses and pictures in my head kept me fragmented. Coming out of that I dropped back , down further , to a level of quietude:. Eventually, Walter Wink’s definition of prayer rose up in me:” Prayer is waking God up, setting God free , giving this famished God food and this thirsty God water….following this God wherever God goes” (probably somewhat inaccurate). So the ministry, the reaching out , has to be tethered to this presence of God, felt or unfelt , in the core of my being.
The word “vigilance” activates my hyper vigilance (from childhood trauma) so in the ear of my heart, I hear God saying: “it’s ok, you can relax, if you don’t get it right, I’ve got you”. Yes, I hear that all the time from my God, “I’ve got you”. I make little reminders (drawings) of my child self in free-fall and God catching me.