Q: I’m a Catholic and I am most interested in developing my relationship with God through contemplation. I have become acquainted with Centering Prayer but I am also practicing the “noting technique” of Mindfulness Meditation which I find helps me to better manage my anxiety in my daily life and, as such, to have a better acceptance of myself as a human being. I find it very hard to separate these two practices for the following reasons:
1) I have (in a sense) dedicated my entire life to God by being a Christian and therefore they have a similar goal which is to help me to better live, as a human being, in the abundance of Life from God.
2) I feel like when I transition from Mindfulness Meditation to Centering Prayer, it removes my point of focus on the breath (present moment) and my noting, which were aimed at being helpful in not letting myself be completely taken over by anxious thoughts or feelings. With no point of focus and no noting in Centering Prayer, I feel like I’m un-doing the helpful habit I’ve just practised through my Mindfulness technique. Any help or recommendations would be appreciated. Thank you!
A: Thank you for your question, which is very alive for me since I spent many years experimenting with different kinds of meditation from various traditions before finally settling on Centering Prayer.
The first thing is to be clear about what practice you are using when. For a period during my years of exploration I practiced a hybrid of Centering Prayer and Zen meditation until I realized that I was confused about exactly what I was trying to do and needed to find greater clarity. While I now use different forms of meditation at different times during the day, I find for myself that it is most helpful and clear to practice one form at a time.
You are clear that the noting technique of mindfulness meditation that you are using to label your thoughts is helpful to you in terms of quieting your anxious thoughts. It sounds like it is important to you to continue to use this practice to calm and ground yourself. The most important question we can ask about our practices is: what are their fruits? You are seeing the fruit of self acceptance flowing to you through your noting practice.
As you are experiencing, Centering Prayer is a different kind of practice. A way of surrendering to God, it is an unfamiliar activity that often leads us beyond our comfort zone. In Centering Prayer, rather than trying to eliminate or control our thoughts, we develop a friendly relationship with them, letting them be with affection and detachment in a way that allows more space to develop between them and us. Instead of trying to feel more comfortable, we offer our thoughts up to God to be transformed without knowing what form that will take, in a spirit of radical openness. It’s natural that this unfamiliar and mysterious process should feel like it’s in tension with the more focused approach of the noting practice. The noting practice helps you to center yourself; Centering Prayer invites you to offer yourself to God for divine centering.
The question is how to fit these two practices together. In what moments are you being called to love and care for yourself through the noting practice, which is clearly healing and grounding for you? And when are you being called to surrender yourself into God’s mysterious presence through Centering Prayer? Each practice can have an important role to play in your life.
What are your priorities in your practice? You say you are “most interested in developing [your] relationship with God through contemplation.“ This would suggest that you would like to make Centering Prayer a priority in your practice, even though this might not be so comfortable for you. What would be the best way to use the noting practice to support you as you enter more deeply into Centering Prayer? Maybe you can use it as a kind of scaffolding that gives you the security you need to feel supported as you prepare to surrender more deeply in Centering Prayer. Labeling your thoughts has taught you to notice the workings of your mind, which will serve you well as you work on letting go of thoughts in your Centering Prayer.
Some possibilities of how to fit the two practices together:
- You say that you are finding the noting practice helpful in your daily life. Are you actually practicing it in the midst of daily life or in separate sessions of meditation? If you are using it in the midst of daily life, is it possible that you could continue to use it in that way while reserving your meditation practice periods for Centering Prayer?
- Another possibility might be to begin your meditation sessions with a few minutes of noting practice to ground yourself and then transition into twenty minutes of Centering Prayer, trusting that God will use the time to transform you in a loving and healthy way, even if it feels uncomfortable and unfamiliar.
- Is it bothering you that your mindfulness practice is not overtly Christian? Another option might be to begin your noting practice time by declaring your intention to allow God to act within you during the practice time. In this way you would be infusing your mindfulness practice with an intention to deepen your relationship with the divine. You could take a few moments as you begin the practice to use verbal prayer to ask God to bless you and your practice. As you say, you have dedicated your entire life to God by being a Christian. All of your spiritual practice can be a part of that dedication.
- A fourth option might be to begin each practice session with a few moments of prayer to ask how you are being called to meditate for that session. What will be the most fruitful for you that day, the healing and grounding of your noting practice or the silent surrender of Centering Prayer?
A spiritual director might help you to reflect further on these options.
It seems likely that both of these practices will continue to play an important role in your journey. There are times to comfort, ground, and care for ourselves and times to challenge ourselves, offering ourselves up to greater transformation and aliveness. As you go deeper in Centering Prayer, you may find it ever more restful and effortless. Trust in the Spirit and your intuition to guide your path.
Warm regards,
Lindsay Boyer
