I guess I am blessed. There is only one time in my life that I was tempted not to forgive. It involved my siblings. They made a family decision without consulting me. I was tempted to flush them down the toilet, but looked at all we had been through growing up and decided it was better to love them than to flush them. I am a tough bird. Skin like a rhino, so maybe that is why life has not hurt me that much. I remember my daughter in law screaming and yelling at me for some perceived insult that I had given as a compliment. At another time in my life I would have given her both barrels and it would be a moment she would never forget. But age had changed me. I just stood there until she was finished screaming at me. I never had to forgive her. I did not hate her. As a matter of fact she was my favorite daughter in law. I am a great believer in divine Providence. Insults happen to me for a reason that God only knows. Ig God only depended on saints, very little would change in the world. He/She depends on flawed human beings to accomplish Divine ends. For some reason I needed my daughter in law screaming at me, either to point out some fault in me or to let me know that she had an open, psychic wound from her childhood, that my compliment just poured salt on and her pain was unbearable and she let me have it with both barrels. I was like that growing up on the streets in NYC.

I feel like a holy fool with my grandchildren. We are losing them. All our 4 children were brought up Catholic, church every Sunday. I know that my children as parents tried to do the same. Yet we are losing our grandchildren to the pagan, Internet world that has taken over their lives. Now we have artificial intelligence coming. My grandchildren are not being exposed to the garden of goodness, the garden of St. Monica that saved St. Augustine. Instead they are being immersed in the pit of evil on the Internet. If Hollywood is the home of evil, then the Internet is a thousand times worse. And I use the Internet for good everyday, so I know that too. I have used artificial intelligence and I know that too. I have used Contemplative Outreach and I know that is the answer to this evil that surrounds our grandchildren. I feel like St. Monica trying to save my grandchildren from the pit of evil that is entangling them. Like St. Monica my wife and I pray and pray. We go one on one with them and play the fool but their hearts are hardened. They don’t want to go to church. They don’t want to go to a college that is Catholic. So like St.Monica we play the fool. Through Lectio Divina we can put it in God’s hands knowing the conversion of St. Augustine is possible and with Faith probable. It is not important what the world says of Jesus. It is only important what I say when Jesus asks the question of me in the silence of my time with Him.

Wow, another awesome reading on the power of Faith. I love this story. We are all familiar with dogs running under the table to eat the scraps dropping accidentally or deliberately to the floor. Jesus has captured each of us in our own daily experience. We are not the masters sitting at the table as in our daily experience. Rather I am the dog looking for the scraps. All the great spiritual mentors advise us to have this humility before the presence of God in our lives. Like this pagan, we better agree with Jesus as to our status. Certainly, as a sinner, I know my status, but I also know that all my requests will be granted, perhaps not in a way I expect.

A little parable. My mother was left a widow with four kids and no money. For the 9 months my father was home dying of cancer, my mother prayed for his life. So at one point in my life I asked my mother how she felt about that unanswered prayer? My mother’s Irish faith was unshakeable. She said “Every prayer I ever prayed after that was answered.” She raised four successful children, with poverty level income, and we all graduated college with post graduate degrees. I guess all her prayers were answered. It is amazing what Faith can do!

Wow! We have to love today’s readings that speak so powerfully to CO followers. This is the first time I am posting. I don’t know if this is the place where I should post. However, I was so moved by today’s readings that I had to post somewhere. Of course we have to put ourselves in the scripture. I am Peter and I am Elijah, These are not stories about them but about us and how we identify, not literally but metaphorically with them and their experiences. We had the wind, fire and earthquakes with our family, friends and jobs. We have to stop to hear the whisper. I don’t do that. I need to do that.

Likewise, I boldly step out into storms in my life thinking I can walk on water. Then I start sinking. I think we all experience Peter in our daily lives. He is so human just like us. I can identify with him sinking, even after seeing and knowing that Jesus is the Son of God.  Peter certainly knew this when he stepped out of the boat. But that knowledge did not help him. He was walking on water because of faith not knowledge. He was shocked that his faith failed him despite all he knew about Jesus and all the miracles he had seen already done by Jesus. Is it any wonder that all the knowledge I have of Jesus may fail me when I need faith.

I always think faith is the elephant in the room when we spout off all the knowledge we have of Jesus Christ. That is why I think this is the most powerful reading in my life. Faith in Jesus Christ can do so much more in my life, than even knowledge or the experience of walking with Jesus

Thanks for today’s readings and meditations!

Tom Lloyd

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