I practiced “seeing with eyes in the heart” this week in working with women I encountered while tracing down medical billing information. I called to request my forms, opting to pick them up in person, twice. Each time, I was nudged by the Spirit to take some store bought baked good. What I received at each encounter was the pleased state of shock response. These talented women work in a business park offsite of the medical facility and rarely receive visitors. Trusting Spirit’s guidance let them know how much one person appreciated their expertise. <3 linda

Like Bartimaeus, I find myself sitting on the side of life’s road at times; I wonder if Bartimaeus moped as I frequently do? I confess when Jesus calls, I do not always jump up and run to Him – forgive me. I most want Jesus to teach me to love as best I can, bring all close to God’s heart. I confess my fears loving like this may lead to great rejection, as it did for Jesus. Forgive me. <3 linda

Lord, You alone know me, see my heart, hear my fears. Help me embrace the way of the Suffering Servant with grace. Move me moment by moment from resistance to trust. I believe; help my unbelief. Thank You for everything. Amen. <3 linda

As I meet Jesus’ gaze and accept His challenging invitation to let go of everything, what surfaces most frequently is esteem/approval. I pray “Lord, I am loving to the best of my ability, help me love better.” Or, as Father Keating says is the short form: help! <3 linda

“Love beholds emanations of light and beauty even in the dire and distressing.” I can affirm this is most certainly true. <3 linda

Henri Nouwen’s sentence resonates: “Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human.” Embracing my own brokenness, fears, confusion and anguish allows me to come alongside others also experiencing these emotions and states of being, especially those closest to me. To be able to help them navigate difficult situations helps me navigate them. We buoy each other. <3 linda

The short phrase “holy unknowing” speaks deeply to my journey of late. A major health crisis with my beloved husband thrust me headfirst into holy unknowing, trusting God and our health care professionals. All I could muster was “heart sight” – trying to see the situation from God’s heart. I can say from a vantage of three weeks later it is well, it is well with my soul. <3 linda

My family and those closest friends know when I feel deeply about a topic, when I attempt to express myself, all that comes are tears.

Jesus asks, “who do you say I am, Linda?” All I can do is gaze back at Him and weep. My heart is full of love, my mouth empty of words. Somehow, I know Jesus understands this response. <3 linda

I can honestly state my “willingness to suffer [my] slice of the human condition for the love of God and the healing of humanity” comes with a sizeable portion of trepidation. The “love of God” part is easier. The “healing of humanity” starts at home, with me, and therein lies my unease. With daily practice the apprehension lifts gradually. With a lifetime of practice, I may be able to “suffer my slice of the human condition” with peace. <3 linda

Rumi gets it. No matter the thought or emotion, allow it, welcome it. I am learning to welcome fears of declining health; I am not just yet able to meet them at the door laughing. The door, however, is open, and the Welcoming Prayer ushers them inside.

Merton gets it. We have to withdraw “from the noise and the confusion of a world that does not understand itself…” I must maintain a contemplative discipline to carry on God’s work and find the peace God wills for me.

My breath prayer this week: welcome; peace. <3 linda

“…our will-to-God is equally our will to be. We can now accept ourselves and our human lives without fear of going contrary to God, because now there is no contradiction of wills.”

Warts and all, as the saying goes. I have come to accept my human life, after a lifetime of searching for God’s will, because me being me is God’s will. Daily I walk in the silence, awestruck by God’s loving me, warts and all. All I can do in return is to be the me-ist I can be. <3 linda

“This is the joy of the Kingdom – to be free of our personal and ambiguous confusions about what happiness is and to allow God in God’s infinite wisdom let happen to us what happens.” (Father Keating)

I readily admit my own ambiguous confusions about what happiness is. I must deeply trust God in order to allow God in God’s infinite wisdom let happen to me what happens. Not easy for a self-identified reforming control freak – yet it is my walk at this time. Lord, I believe; help my unbelief! <3 linda

As I read today’s meditation this morning, I was drawn to the very first sentence: When we have exhausted our resources and are quite frankly ready to give up our sense of call, or at least to walk it back to something tamer and more humanly “reasonable”, we are invited to accept our powerlessness and embrace a radical dependence on God.

Typical Sunday here. I gave my spouse a haircut (I have been barbering since the start of Covid). Launder bedding, cook, routines of a practical nature, yet deeply infused with God’s love and grace. Each task performed with my hands, met with God’s strength. I trust God strengthens me as I lean into my radical dependence. <3 linda

“Forgiveness arises out of creative love;”

“Forgiveness is the act of making a new future…”

“Forgiveness is resurrected life;”

It is as if each person of the Trinity is calling me to respond to each of these verses from Ilia Delio’s poem as from Father, Son and Spirit. My desire to love as God loves births forgiveness, an act of making a new future – not only for myself but for all I encounter. The weight lifted from me when someone extends forgiveness is resurrected life. I pray I can remain connected to this creative love and forgiveness. <3 linda

Choosing love and peace above all options this week, I found I had more compassion for those in pain, physically and emotionally. I pray peace into situations that appear in the news. My breath prayer: “surrender all judgment to God.” <3 linda

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